Knowing what to do and how is difficult for the newly widowed / divorced woman, especially when she's over forty. Whether she became a widow by door or by death, the questions are very often the same:
- What do I do with my life now?
- How do I go it alone?
- Where do I find the strength?
The first eight MUSTS, now that you're single for the first time, if doable for you, will infuse you with new life.
1.
Find your very
own space and let NO ONE invade it. Why? Because you need uninterrupted space to think, re-discover or reinvent yourself. Sometimes, however, women are so exhausted and grief stricken,
this #1 is not possible right away. In that case, she’d need to be in a safe,
protected environment with a cropped select few people, perhaps her children.
Rest may be the order for many months before energy comes to re-discover or to
re-invent anything at all. Grief is exhausting and debilitating. Pick your
space carefully.
2.
You must not date for at
least a year
3.
Travel as far
into the world as your courage will allow, as often as you can afford to
4.
After all the grief or bitterness has gone, dig deep into
your experience and help a young married couple. It's been said that if your marriage fell apart you couldn't possibly tell another married couple anything. LIES. Because yours crumbled you have much that will help another (minus the attitude, please)
5.
Develop your own;
discover foods you didn’t know you preferred; activities that make you feel
strong and fulfilled, places you like to visit that make you smile and bring you peace
6.
Take up Public
Speaking. It is an extreme strengthener and confidence builder
7.
Understand what
it is to make money on your own and how to make it work for you
8.
Get to a place
where you have total independence; no leaning on ANYONE for ANYTHING at all.
PERIOD. Instead, you become a GIVER extraordinaire.
Nhat Crawford,
author of Single For The First Time, Over Forty Under Divorce, 2014
Published by WestBow Press
Nhatcrawford@gmail.com
Nhat Crawford,
author of Single For The First Time, Over Forty Under Divorce, 2014
Published by WestBow Press
Nhatcrawford@gmail.com
Nhat thank you for saying what needs to be said so clearly. I know that it will help those who have the opportunity and take the time to read it.
ReplyDeleteYou are welcome and thank you for your encouragement. I am working constantly on making it better and more inviting to those women who I KNOW could find benefit in these words.
ReplyDeleteNhat