The other day I met a woman nearly fifty years old and single for the first time ever. She'd been married twice; the first time was fresh out of high school and a second time in her thirties, if I remember correctly. Her last marriage lasted twenty or more years until one day her husband died suddenly. She still wore her wedding rings and couldn't fathom a date with another man. 'How would I act on a date, or for that matter, any other social function where people are involved?' To hear her talk about the awkwardness of the adjustment allowed me to know just one of the countless women this book Single For The First Time was written for. We had a great conversation about widows and women experiencing divorce after being married all their adult lives. After suffering my own loss by way of the door; divorce, after 27 years, I decided to redefine the word Widow.
WIDOW: A WOMAN WHO HAS LOST HER HUSBAND BY DOOR OR BY DEATH.
Nothing will throw you into a spiral like losing your husband. Nothing! How should a woman behave after such a loss? How should she live and present herself now? Is it really all that important?
In the book, I depict Divorce as an unjust judge that the widow, the alone woman, has to face in order to get back what was taken from her, in the interim, and there is a behavior that must accompany that or you will not win. I will tell you this... a widow, or divorced older woman's behavior, will be her salvation and better days will follow her very closely.
A Widow's Behavior up-close:
- She exudes strength and courage despite what has befallen her;
- She's rowdy when need be... she's got to fight alone now, otherwise
- She's not quarrelsome... don't bother to answer too many questions, and entertain arguments about what you could and should have done differently, from onlookers;
- The law of kindness is on her tongue, gentleness is in her touch, mercy and compassion is what she hears amid the noise of those chattering about her new placement in life.
Published by WestBow Press (July 2014)
Nhatcrawford@gmail.com
Wow. Just wow Nhat. Thank you for tackling this taboo topic with grace, wisdom and skill while redefining the word widow.
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DeleteThank you, Pamela, and you're most welcome.
Nhat
I agree with your assessment that both of these categories describe a widow. "He's a father to the fatherless, and a husband to the widow." How many times have I leaned on this promise during the years my children grew up and in the time since then. In the early years of my marriage as a very young wife, the words "you'll be a widow at a young age" floated through me. It felt strange, and I wondered where it came from. Not the kind of thing you want to believe is from God. But when it happened, I looked back and realized I was being prepared. My life wasn't lived the way I had dreamed it would be, but He's always been faithful. And I found I had a freedom to follow Him in my walk in a way I couldn't as freely when I was married.
ReplyDeleteMy widowhood came through the door.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Cyndee. You speak the sentiment of SO many of us and acknowledge our only Help. Door widowhood also pushes us deep into His bosom, indeed.
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