What About The Children of Your Gray Divorce? Part 2

The devastating experience of divorce against our children is a far cry from watching them fall down as toddlers and scrape their knee before we could run to them, or hold them when they cry over the death of their pet hamster. 

I know in my day, as a young mother, it broke my heart when my son came running in the house crying after discovering that his pet worm was dead along with his turtle that had died, too, after being exposed outside. He’d thoughtlessly left them on the deck, in the sun. I literally cried with him in my arms; it hurt me deeply to see him grieve so. I’ve hurt many a day over my hurting children. But, this… this divorce was the absolute worst unimaginable, unbearable thing to see them go through. No hug could soothe them and there were no right words. Prayers didn’t even seem to make any difference. Their hearts were broken and there was no human remedy. 

In the natural world, if someone offends a child in any way and the mother finds out, they’d better run for dear life. There is no woman like a mother who’s out to protect her child; someone might lose life or limb for getting in her way! As for me, I would have taken both life and limb for what my kids were going through but there was nothing I could do.

Although my children were legally adults, 18 and above, the heartbreak was the same. In the case of younger children, their brokenness is even more severe as their hearts are more tender. Their future becomes filled with blockages that will guarantee hinderences of certain kinds, if not dealt with directly, quickly. Along with the heartbreak comes:

•  Rejection;
•  Lonliness; 
• Vulnerability and 
• Low self-esteem (which primes kids for various kinds of victimizations up the road)
• Victims of drug abuse;
• Promiscuity;
• Low ambition;
• Relationship abuse;
• Etc.    
•  
• Divorce is remarkable as it relates to children. It alters their life severely. Don't ignore it!

Nhat Crawford, author

Single For The First Time, Over Forty Under Divorce

Published by WestBow Press, 2014 

nhatcrawford@gmail.com