A Door Widow's Behavior

One of the saddest things to see is a hurting-trying-to-heal-woman on the prowl to “find love” because she’s afraid to even try this life alone after becoming what I call a Door Widow. She leaves a trail of hurt men behind her as she tosses away one man, after the next, looking for someone at least close to what she lost. Or, she ends up bleeding new blood herself because some man has gotten excited about her treasure, only to find it filled with cloudy gems and watery fineries-not truly ready to fulfill his needs-so he flips her over and tosses her away, too. 

            These aching ladies don’t need to be guilty of looking the part only. I'd say to them, 'Hey, if you are not ready to be a wife again, stay away from men who are looking for one. As for men who just want a good time, you can’t afford them either, not now, or ever!'

• The man that comes along with the nice house, like the one you no longer have, is a temptation. Sure. 
• The man that is willing and able to buy you what you can't buy for yourself now is tempting. Sure. 
• The nice man who will literally chauffeur you around is a relief. Sure. 

But if you are unable to give him a tit for his tat, you’d better find satisfaction in getting some exercise while walking to the bus stop, running to catch that train, or walking briskly to catch that taxicab, instead!

The enemies of Door Widows are varied and they are not playing games! Be careful! 

One of the disadvantages of gray divorce (especially for the church lady) is that, yes, you are like a plague for a hot minute. Most, or all of your friends just might have scattered, you’re likely broke, and your married girlfriends are banning you from their husbands now-since you no longer have one. And, God forbid, they lend their husbands to help you lift something or to drive your rented U-haul for moving. Many who you thought would help you won’t for fear that your situation will rub off on their optimum life. No one will tell you that honestly, but it’s the truth. Crazy! So, what's a newly single, mature woman to do?

Read more in this divorce survival guide for the woman who is Over Forty and Under Divorce!  

Nhat Crawford, author of

Single For The First Time, 

WestBow Press, 2014

nhatsbooks.com