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| Nhat Crawford, author Single For The First Time |
Statistics confirm that those born between 1946 and 1964 (Baby Boomers) are more likely to face economic, health, and social disadvantages if they are not married.
Yet this same demographic is more likely to become divorced than any other. Hmph! Does this mean that unmarried people are at a disadvantage? According to studies, Yes! In 2009 "they" found that 20% of grey divorcees were poor compared to only 4% of married people in the same age bracket. The U.S. Census also found that over the past forty years there's been a steady increase in divorces of people between 45 and 63, which means you're looking at an increase in health problematic citizens. Admittedly, this is scary! On the other hand people are living longer, women are looking and feeling better as they age today like never before. Look at Jane Fonda, Raquel Whelch, Ernestine Shepherd, and a lady I know personally named Tee Garlington, (Single at 70+) for starters.
I respect the census, I just don't believe we have to be a statistic.
Upon getting divorced my lifestyle vanished into thin air. The only way I'd known to live was gone and I didn't know how to get even a portion of it back for my single self. Instead of a home in an enclave, I got a dank apartment in a basement. Instead of a Ford or a Mercedes Benz to drive, I walked or caught buses and trains. Instead of Kaiser Permenente I had a choice pick of clinics for the poor, or for those without insurance (The Good Samaritan is a good one, by the way). Instead of being healthy and vibrant, I became ill, weak and exhausted, and without insurance that could've been a death sentence, in fact it almost was, more than once for me.
This new life was too much to be introduced to at forty-six years old! I had become a statistic amazingly fast!
The speed at which I sank choked the life out of me and I was losing my ability to think or be creative. 'How do I find my way back home?' I wondered. Home had to be redefined. I thought I knew. As a newly single, over forty-year old, the first rediscovery is Home. Where is it and how do I keep it and protect it from sliding into statistics?
I wondered what direction to run to to get furthest away from the statistic that says I'll be forever poor, forever ill, and worst… forever alone.
I learned a great deal when I was a wife, learned even more when I became a mother, etc. But no lessons could compare to the ones that rose up to meet me as I relocated to Statistic Lane and Census Cove in the city of The Disadvantaged that sat in the northern region of Single. My new 'home' was a Vortex that wanted to keep me, but I could not settle in. Instead, I treated it like a temporary place in time. It started in my thinking then I had to get creative… and I still am!
I found that there was no specific time period to remain at the disadvantage point because of the things you bump into while navigating your way out.
Staying healthy was the very FIRST thing I realized I had to focus on. Health was my new wealth. I could survive the bumps, the mistakes, the gnawing poverty as long as I was strong and on top of my health.
Know this: Your health, the company you keep, the thoughts you think and the decisions you make will keep you in or take you out of being a statistical finding.
www.prb.org (search Late Life Divorce)
Nhat Crawford, author
Nhatcrawford@gmail.com
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